Through observances and conversations with Ben, as well as various things I’ve read lately, God’s been working some goals and resolves into my heart. Resolves to not let life stress me out. Period.
For anyone wondering about the sudden focus on weeding out stress in my life, no, my life isn’t currently stressful. I have one amazing husband and one precious, perfect daughter…a beautiful home in the most wonderful town…and great family/in-laws to boot. That doesn’t sound very stressful, now, does it? But I’ve observed so much stress in others’ lives- so much that it appears to totally overwhelm any joy they might be able to find in their lives…and it just seems really sad. I’ve also been reading some about stress and how many serious health issues are caused by prolonged stress/cortisol release. So, I’m just observing and learning and figuring out what I really don’t want for me, my husband, or my kid(s), under any circumstances. It’s not healthy for any of us. And kids shouldn’t have to grow up with a stressed out mom.
For the reality side…I know stress will hit. I know, if God continues to grow our family, there might be moments of feeling overwhelmed. Moments when someone will have to jab me and say, “But you said stress isn’t worth it….” When laundry’s piled to the ceiling and the house is a wreck. When 5 kids are all throwing up at the same time. Life isn’t a perfect walk through the park, and I know I won’t handle it perfectly. But that’s not a logical reason for aiming lower. It just means I know I’ll have to pick up every now and again and say, “okay, I failed, but we’re doing this again”. So….I’m not as totally nieve as I may sound, even though my experiences in life are limited- and maybe I am still slightly nieve.
The star I’m aiming for is one where I enjoy my husband and children everyday. Where I spend extra time just gazing at Vivi when she’s asleep, just because she’s too precious and beautiful to move out of the room. Where I drop my plans to do something sporadic with Ben. Where I spend as much time as possible with my Vivi girl, and any children God blesses me with in the future. Where, if someone I love dies, I won’t have any regrets about the life I shared with them.
Yesterday, I read an article about a baby girl who only had 7 months and 6 days with her family. (If you haven't read it yet, go do so. Then come back. :-))Her death wasn’t totally expected. I can’t help but imagine what if that was Vivi? What if God took her tomorrow….if today was the last day we had together? Or what if something happened to Ben? I can’t even begin to imagine, and I don’t want to. Amy (the baby’s mother), could’ve had so many regrets. Emily kept her up much of the night before she died, with a fever. Amy could’ve been upset over the loss of sleep, but instead, she cherished the moments of nursing her daughter alone in the dark. I bet she’s so thankful she did. Amy wore Emmy (and her other babies) while doing anything and everything….I bet she’s thankful now that she soaked up every possible minute with her daughter. In hindsight, one would never regret spending countless hours with their babies and children everyday, even if the child outlived you. But for some reason, too many of us tend to loose site of that until calamity strikes or those busy years of mothering young children are long over.
Cleaning your house isn’t a bad thing. But seriously….is the dust on the ceiling fan really more important than your own children? Is stressing out over some laundry or undone meals really worth what it puts your family through? On a side note, because I can’t resist….that’s why I promote babywearing and working along side your children. Of course you should clean your house and prepare nutritious meals- just not to the detriment of relationships with your family. Babywearing and incorporating your other children helps it all work together.
I’m not a perfect mom, or wife, or a perfect anything, for that matter. But I do love being a wife and mom, and I want my family to know it...and I want to live my life to the fullest possible degree- which, for me, means enjoying and cherishing the relationships God’s given me.