Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Spring has come!


Love is the best argument - part 2

Yesterday I shared some of my thoughts on the emotional reactions that people have because of being hurt in the past. Those insights have helped me to let go of feeling like I have to debate with people, and just love them instead.
I've also come to recognize emotional reactions in my own life. I'm a sensitive guy, and am deeply emotional, even when I'm good at hiding it. Because of my sensitivity, there are many issues that have hurt me, which I react against now.
It is Brianna's love that heals me from hurts in the past. She doesn't have to debate against my emotional reactions - she loves me through them, and it is her love that heals the scars.
Love is the best argument. Love wins the heart over in a way a debate over truth never could. Love heals hurts in the past. Love lifts a person above the ruts they are stuck in better than anything else can.

~Ben

Monday, April 27, 2009

Love is the best argument

From my experience, I have noticed that many, if not most, ideas that people are emotionally passionate are about are actually an emotional reaction against something that happened in their past that hurt either them or someone they dearly love. They emotionally attach an opposing idea to a hurt that was experienced in the past, and react against anyone who broadcasts that idea.
For example, consider a person who is turned off by Christianity because a Christian judged them and made them feel like trash. They are violently opposed to the whole idea of Christianity because of the rejection they have felt.
A person who is emotionally reacting against something will not be convinced of an idea mentally. In fact, if a person is debating with someone who is emotionally reacting against their ideas, often the dogmatic friction of the debate will cause more hurt instead of bringing healing.
What people need is love and grace, not mental debates. Love will reach through the barriers and offer healing to a hurting heart. This is what the world needs, not more judgment from the Church...

~Ben

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Feb. 14, 2009


A love that keeps no record of wrongs

"And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8

The deepest love between a husband and wife keeps no record of wrongs. This love is the love that covers a multitude of sins - not because the sins never happened, but because they are covered, and washed away by love.
Keeping no record of wrongs isn't natural - it is a choice that must be made. Keeping no record of wrongs is choosing to not hold someone's sin against them! A love that keeps no record of wrongs will not harbor any bitterness against you for your mistakes, nor will you be loved less because you are fallible. This is unconditional love, a love that endures forever, even through the mistakes we make.
This is like the love that Christ showed the Church! He loved us in spite of our sins, and through His love we are transformed, and so we should also love each other unconditionally and give each other the grace that we've been given.
Brianna and I have found that as we refuse to hold our mistakes against each other, we become more one - because there is no part of our hearts that we have to hide from each other. Our love becomes deeper and more real, because it is unconditional, and nothing can take it away.

~Ben

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Our "Fountain" Vision

Brianna and I are getting married in 45 days. Over our engagement we have been thinking and talking about and praying about the vision we want to live with as a married couple.

Our desire is to share the love of Christ with others. We want to first start in our marriage - our first priority is to love each other with all of our hearts. I want to fill Brianna's heart with so much love that her heart overflows with so much love.

Our second dream is to love whatever children God chooses to bless us with. We want to pour love into the hearts of our children, until their hearts overflow with love.

Finally, we want to pour love and grace into the lives of everyone else that Father brings into our lives. We want to draw people to Christ by offering them His love, a love that treasures every single person, wherever they are at in life.

We call this vision our "fountain" vision. We want to love each other first, and pour so much love into each other that love overflows into the lives of our children, and love our children so much it overflows into the lives of all other relationships in our lives.

~Ben